As promised!
- Bob Pickle
- Oct 17, 2022
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 20, 2022
Hello, named humans out there! We now present to you... an article on NAMEFISHING!
We did a survey on this in a previous post, and this name won by a landslide! (totally, not biased)
So, in this article, we will be talking about:
All (or most) of the common causes of namefishing
Their effects on the person and the general public
Possible solutions
How to regulate your feelings around them and not come across as a psycho that you are
Causes of namefishing
So firstly, an important thing to note is the causes of namefishing. This way, we are able to prevent it from happening by going to the root of the problem. However, this is not that easy...
Why? Because many parents are not sure of their children's appearance as a baby. This is usually when they get their names, you see. So instead, they name their kids what they want or hope for them to look like. Therefore, if the children ever grow up to have an appearance that deviates from the expected result, it would cause a case of namefishing. The fact no one can make an informed decision actually makes this problem even more wide-spread and nearly impossible to solve. However, we do offer some solutions.
Possible effects of namefishing
Now, namefishing can have many effects, both on the namefisher and on the general public. It can even go as far as to destroy the entire social structure of a society. Take this widely-known literary work as an example. Although this is fictional, it serves as a grim reminder of how we should be aware of namefishers.
"I remember... The day I heard his name. In my mind I painted a picture, one so vivid that even I could fall in love with. I watched as him name brought details into my mind, and a graceful and stunning picture arose. And that was the expectation that my mind provided me with." - Pez, The Book of Namen
You see, if you duck haven't understood it yet, refer to this scenario.
RI-YEN UR VIDEO EDITING IS HORRENDOUS WHERE IS DA MUSIC NAH NO MUSIC >:)
AND ALSO IF THE SOUND IS NOT WORKING ITS TOTALLY YOUR COMPUTER'S PROBLEM WE TOTALLY ADDED MUSIC FROM 1234543219283475643456787654312345679293874382910237829102372819831101001100100100100 TRACKS HERE YOU JUST HAVE A COMPUTER ISSUE TRUST
Ok now understand the scenario? In fact, many people are mentally affected as they find out that they have been victims of namefishers. This is why this article is so important.
Possible solutions that you can try (emphasis on try)
Ok, so what are some possible solutions to namefishing? Only one way- change your name. However, some may feel attached to their nice, albeit misfitting, names. Therefore, parents could always try to come up with more general names for their kids. For example, for girls, the most general name that we can find is Jessica. Think about it... Anyone can be named Jessica.
For instance, the girl that calls you insane but is way insaner herself? JESSICA
The girl that is beachy but nice at the same time? JESSICA
You? JESSICA
THEREFORE WE SHOULD NAME ALL GIRLS AND BOYS JESSICA!
(that escalated fast...)
Ok therefore...
The ultimate totally one-size-fits-all solution
Now, after careful consideration and thought, the royal ducks that live in a tea shop in Germany have decided to name everyone Jessica, inclusive of all XX and XY chromosome carriers. And how do we differentiate the Jessicas of the world? EASY MY DARLING DUCK! BY LAST NAMES! This way, we will have NO NAMEFISHING PROBLEM AT ALL!
PROBLEM SOLVED YAY
oh wait...
WAIT
WAIT
WAIT HELP
DUCKS YOU GOTTA SEE THIS
THE NAMEFISHING PROBLEM-
STILL EXISTS
EXCEPT FOR LAST NAMES THIS TIME
OOPS OK
THIS DOESNT MATTER
WE SOLVED OUR HALF OF THE PROBLEM
GOODBYE
DUCKS, OUT
PEACE
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